The winter here's cold, and bitter
it's chilled us to the bone
I haven't seen the sun for weeks
too long too far from home
I feel just like I'm sinking
and I claw for solid ground
I'm pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
Oh....darkness I feel like letting go

If all of the strength and all of the courage
come and lift me from this place
I know I could love you much better than this
full of grace
full of grace
my love

It's better this way, I say
having seen this place before
where everything we say and do
hurts us all the more
its just that we stayed, too long
in the same old sickly skin
I'm pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
Oh darkness....I feel like letting go

If all of the strength
and all of the courage
come and lift me from this place
I know I could love you much better than this
full of grace
I know I could love you much better than this

It's better this way
Monday, January 16, 2006

Because of You
Because of You
Though my Birthday is over, i feel its paramount to note this. Its so easy to dwell in our downward spiral of "failures" and forget our many blessings. For everyone who came to my party, i just wanna give u guys a big hug, esp classmate wq who baked me a super carrot cake (i still have your plate, will return it on tues). My old buddies Jw and E (God sis) and church leader C for helping me "clear up". Haha you guys are throughly a blessing that i sometimes neglect. silly silly little me. I really love being in A02B, my wonderful crazy class, love my Og and so glad ppl from 2E came too (Y you shouldn have come just to pass me e pressie). Haha the "drinks" ran out so fast, but since i am 18 now (even if they check) i shall be drinks provider next time too.

On Jan 8th, WJ has pri school fren called from Perth!!! just to wish me happy b day. i know its childish but i kinda cried after that. Now i have so many frens in Perth, WJ, A from st.nicks, T and D from yf and oohhh E from PUNJ my new found fren whom God has blessed me with.

I've really been let down by some frens, even christian ones. still there is no point getting upset by wats lost like i used to. they arent worth the one who love me.

i was God's blessed, to have so many share their love with me.


elaine left a note at 1:02 AM

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Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Try again or Walk away
Try again or Walk away

Its a new year =) Its a new blog. Thanks classmate D for being the chief template editor! Still before i start writing stuff about my party, i feel i should write about the blog, why this seeming fantasyland of many has also become my output of emotions. 2005 has been an up and down year for my, esp the end of the year. All the wonders and regrets that made me almost want to let go.

I've learnt alot. To make decisions wisely so i'll not live to regret. That i can't always get what i want, that i have to learn to hold on before it's gone. That i was loved. (Sorry for the dark "was", all you sentimental ones) That i am loved. Quoting from someone's favourite song "Only Love" (yes, the sappy one from trademark), "if we give enough, if we learn to trust". I guess the crazy things I've seen as i grew up made me weary of everyone, everything seemingly pure and good. It took me a year to realised i never truly opened myself up. I always thought it was better to love, but God Sis E said she'll rather love and be hurt.

Its scary how i managed to live in my protected shell. Its only now i've realised how people around me have been doing so much for this insignificant me. Its like me telling them "I know i can love you much better than this, full of grace" and this year, i will.

Everyone seems to be so driven here at ?JC in their studies. But i've decided, that though like them, studies will be a priority of mine, i can have other priorities too, family, those special people in my life, God. I don't really care if in the end i get hurt by people for loving and trusting. Cos i've learnt that by shutting yourself out of that possibility of loving and trusting, you have nothing, but if you try, even if its futile, you'll have memories.

So friends, this year, lets work hard and study madly and love passionately.


E.S


elaine left a note at 1:13 AM

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Monday, January 09, 2006

Full of Grace
Full of Grace

This is my 2nd attempt at creating a blog. Really love this blogskin created by classmate WQ. "Full of Grace" is currently one of my favourite songs and as music always does, it makes me feel like i can relate to it, esp now. The most beautiful lines are "If all of the strength and all of the courage, come and lift me from this place, I know I can love you much better than this, full of grace". Hmm but the whole song is quite melancholic, making life seem like it would never be right. So i'll just stick to those few beautiful lines, which hope that in everything i'll learn to "love much better than this" knowing that one day life will take another turning and be beautiful too.

E.S


elaine left a note at 11:51 PM

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